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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a lover without a word seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently fruitless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive glossary to the phrases this generation is using to discuss romance, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, raw self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal habits indicating a potential partner is not right. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {